My ears hear what others cannot hear; small faraway things people cannot normally see are visible to me. These senses are the fruits of a lifetime of longing, longing to be rescued, to be completed. Just as the skirt needs the wind to billow, I’m not formed by things that are of myself alone. I wear my father’s belt tied around my mother’s blouse, and shoes which are from my uncle. This is me. Just as a flower does not choose its color, we are not responsible for what we have come to be. Only once you realize this do you become free, and to become adult is to become free.

I really like the color green and among the various propositions for my hairstyles, I always suggest green hair color but they always decide to dye, at the opposite, a bright and strong color. Actually, I don’t know if you know this, but even just for hair dyeing, I’m lucky. Among Infinite members, the person who’s able to have various dyeing procedures is ‘only me’. We all try. The only one remaining are the ones which their colors fit the best. Ah, I found another comrade. It’s Hoya. Hoya is famous for usually liking the color purple, and the hair color purple fits him well too. He has a satisfying sense. Since I found a comrade, my joy is doubled. Hoya gave me a nickname matching my hair color. ‘Pebble color’. Pebble beaches aren’t like sandy beaches, they’re beaches made of rocks, he says that the color of my hair is the same as the color of the rocks. This summer, I’ll go to a pebble beach and take a pretty picture so that my confidence will increase even more.

When we first debuted, someone told me “You can just dance. Why are you trying to rap and sing as well? If you want to be outstanding, you should just develop your already good dancing skills”. So at that time, I practiced even more out of spite, instead. Of course, it feels like that person wanted the main vocals to just sing well, the one in charge of dancing to just dance well and the rapper to just rap well for the whole balance of Infinite to be good but I didn’t think so. Because it’s the best if I do everything well.

“The feeling we had before, thinking ‘We have to work hard’, didn’t disappear but after getting popular, there were a few rumors saying so. The 7 of us lived together for 3 years and we still talk to each other a lot. We do our best to be polite toward juniors, seniors, everyone. But when I hear that we lost our original goal, it makes me very upset. There’s no way I can explain it to each one of them, right? I’m actually the type to be very shy so when I wait by myself in the waiting room with many groups, I get shy and I can’t greet them well. But I think that people could misunderstand it as me being arrogant. I have to do my best to change more actively, of course.”

I want to have a happy family sometime, with lots of laughter like my family now, and with sisters that have a good relationship with each other like myself and Krystal. But finding a “happy me” comes first for now. I’m the type that gains happiness from little things. For example, I’m the type that feels like she’s got the whole world in her grasp just by eating something good. Having a greater happiness after finding smaller ones; that’s my goal in life.

Today, I still couldn’t see that miracle
Don’t ask if this is a dream anymore
I’m waiting, my heart is burning, time is being wasted

“Although I thought it was ridiculous that I became a member of an idol group, think of how the other members probably thought it was ridiculous too because they were going to do group promotions just like me. Even now, I don’t often think about how I’m an idol. When you look at L or Sungjong, even their visuals are idol-like, but I really felt I wasn’t. I’m currently promoting with the thought of, ‘when will I ever be in an idol group like this with kids like these in my life?’.”

And that’s how he came to Seoul. He, who came up to Seoul because he was ‘crazy about music’, lived in gosiwons and endured each day while working part-time at a meat restaurant and serving at a cafe. A regular customer at the cafe asked him, “What kind of music do you enjoy?” And he just replied with, “Nell.” Then the regular customer said, “I’m Nell’s manager. We’re going to make a dance group, so if you have any thoughts about auditioning, you should come.”